Healing Intergenerational Trauma
Intergenerational trauma refers to the transmission of traumatic experiences and the resulting negative effects from one generation to the next. It can be challenging to overcome intergenerational trauma, but there are steps that Black mothers can take to heal and break the cycle of trauma. Here are some suggestions:
Seek out therapy or other forms of support: It can be helpful to work with a therapist or other mental health professional to process and heal from intergenerational trauma. Support groups and other community resources can also be helpful.
Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is important for your own well-being and can help you better support your family. This can include activities such as getting enough rest, exercising, and engaging in hobbies and activities that bring you joy.
Create a supportive environment: Surround yourself with people who are supportive and understanding, and create a safe and nurturing environment for your family.
Educate yourself and your children: Learning about the history and experiences of your ancestors can help you and your children better understand and heal from intergenerational trauma.
Find ways to cope with stress and manage emotions: Finding healthy ways to cope with stress and manage your emotions can be an important step in overcoming intergenerational trauma. This can include activities such as mindfulness, journaling, or seeking support from trusted friends or family members.
Another way is to create new habits and traditions with your family. Here are some ideas that were shared by our Mama community:
“I am allowing my kids to express themselves even if the word "NO" is involved. I am allowing my kids to tap into their creativity in anyway shape or form. I am allowing my kids to be kids and not have to worry about mom and dad relationship.” - I.J.B.
“Allowing my children to ask the question "Why?" A lot of times growing up if a child asked an adult why it was taken in the form of disrespect as if the child didn't have the right to know or the adult didn't feel obligated to give an answer because "you don't question an adult". As a parent, I'm supportive of my child's understanding & comprehension...being intrigued to know more. So if my child asks why I'm more than okay with clearly explaining so they gain knowledge & become more aware!” -P.T.
“The main habit I'm breaking is a lack of respect for my children and their emotions. We allow our daughters to express themselves in an open environment. Even saying things like "I'm not your little friend" can create a space of your children not coming to your openly like they would a friend. Instead, we set boundaries of respect, and from there we all feel comfortable expressing our emotions. People don't like when their kids show that they are upset or sad, which eventually means when they grow older they won't know how to properly work through those emotions.” - A.C.
“I have intentions to break the cycle of expressing love to my child. I tell him I love him often. I honor his emotions and apologize when I lash out due to stress. Unlike my parents. I don't think they have ever apologized to me & I can surely count how many times they have verbally told me they love me.” - K.W.
“Might be a weird one but allowing them to pick things in the store that they like... for many generations, it's a known fact that many of us were not allowed to pick what we wanted because we worried about what we needed. I think for a lot of us once we grew up. It was hard to figure out what we wanted and what we liked because we were only concerned with what we needed. I'll teach my daughters the difference between wants and needs and that it's OK to have a want as long as your needs have already been met.” -B.C.
Remember that healing from intergenerational trauma is a process, and it may take time. It's important to be patient with yourself and seek out the support and resources you need to heal.
